I had it since forever! The desire, the yearning, the almost palpable need. It made my heart sing, my mind dream, my body tremble. But I waited 30 years to live it. Why? Because I've been taught to be "good", "serious", careful", "wise". Because I've been taught that this is not how I should live my life, that it would bring me suffering, that people won't respect and appreciate me if I guide my life by it. It remained for so long just a fantasy of a romance novel...
You might have guessed it: it's having the courage of living a passionate life, to take a leap of faith and not look back.
Until 30 years old I lived the "nice" way. A family, a career that enhanced my social status, a child. My friends and peers saw me as a very serious, family focused, perfectly integrated person, that had only "the right things" on her agenda. And I believed it too, the only exception being the moments I stole reading romance novels that transported me in a world of fantasy and adventure, leaving me questioning if this is possible only in books and people's imagination.
I wanted the adventure, I wanted the crazy, intense love, I yearned for passion and sensuality, for the freedom of my spirit ... but all I saw around me were classical families that worked hard to maintain balance and find moments of happiness, or single people, that tried to mend their hearts and find a way to overcome their mistrust in others.
As a life coach I went beyond the façade that flooded the social media and saw the lack of balance and sadness that was in my clients souls. Most of my clients were women and I had the opportunity to look in the bible of their learned patterns and preconceptions which led their lives. And that made me look in mine. And they were all there too.
Having to work so hard to maintain our "happiness", grabbing any drop we can find and having to accept that the drops were few and far between, it's no wonder there is so much anger, pettiness and hate on so many areas of our lives. We can see it whenever a sensitive topic appears around us. Be it politics, tragedy, differences of opinion or anything that can channel all the frustration, boredom or sadness we try to balance everyday.
Because we try to live by the rules, but we are not designed to respect those rules. And our mind and soul react, resist and rebel against them. We are meant to live a balance life, where we can express ourselves completely and freely. As women, that means to let the feminine spirit out, the wild, sensual, erotic woman we all have inside thrive. And that is what makes us more loving, more empathic, more driven. Because it's our creative side also. We can't repress one and expect the other to be at its full potential.
So, at around 30 years old I decided I have a duty towards myself to express all of me. To offer and receive, to share all this beautiful energy generously with the world. For two years I was on a battlefield, my old self and my new emerging one couldn't see eye to eye. But I found the power to persevere. Until my new found balance became my normality and the old patterns were silenced, dissipating like a morning mist under the warm sun of summer.
My path is unique like anyone else's. It's not about following a recipe, but seeing the reason for it all and finding the courage to discover your own way; that is what I want to inspire through this blog. It's not the steps, but the result that matters. The leap of faith, to bring up all those whispers and nudges that our spirit is talking to us though, that is the actual goal, and it will help us create a better world (inside and out).
